We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷ðŸ»â€â™€ï¸
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
