dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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