I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
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