HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
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