Kiss
Puke
I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
