some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
