hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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