How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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