Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize
