cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
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