Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Randomize
