There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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