I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
