i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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