He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
