I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Randomize
