haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
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