why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Randomize
