Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Randomize
