so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
Randomize
