omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
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