Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
