I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Randomize
