remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
