either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
I'm like, not good at living.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Randomize
