Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
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