you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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