Taylor Swift is so right about you.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
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