I could make wine with my vomit
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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