Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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