im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize
