talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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