I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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