I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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