Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
