I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Randomize
