what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Randomize
