So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Randomize
