id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
I look excited, but its just a facade.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
