At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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