Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Randomize
