you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
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