I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize
