what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
