i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
