I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
