East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
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