Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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