i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
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