What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
Randomize
