Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
