That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
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