Plan B is the new Plan A
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
